Hubby shared an article with me the other day titled “The ugly secret of working moms” that I loved because it is the TRUTH. I’ll copy/paste a quote from it that I think sums it up well:

“We’re expected to do our jobs as if we don’t have children — and then raise our children as if we don’t have jobs,” she said. “If you think about the model of the ideal mother, it’s the person who sacrifices everything for her child. The ideal worker is someone who can drop everything and go on a business trip at a moment’s notice, and who can stay late — not leave at 5 o’clock to pick up kids. So if you’re trying to be both, then you are faking it.”

I can relate to this SO MUCH and I’m sure other moms can too.

On Thursday, I was supposed to give a presentation to a small team at work, but ultimately had to back out because they rescheduled it at the last minute to outside my PT working hours. I HAVE to leave on time because I’m in charge of picking the kids up every day which is one of the reasons why I can’t work FT. That alone is proof I “can’t have it all”, but I willingly accepted the sacrifices that came with reducing my work schedule, and am grateful to work for a company that offers flexible work arrangements. Those sacrifices will be the topic of another blog post.

Anyway, when we got home that night, I asked the older two kids to do their homework and tried distracting Adrian while I cooked the taco meat {thanks for cutting all the ingredients up the night before babe ?}. Then we had dinner and made it late to Ariana’s tball game.

No surprise there. Another typical day in my life. And I’m not saying it in a bad way. I actually think I had a pretty good day, aside from getting frustrated at the older two kids because they KNOW the daily routine but it’s STILL nearly impossible for them to follow without me “babying” them which leads to me getting frustrated and venting to hubby who then comes home with less patience. I usually end up looking forward to the minute all 3 kids are in bed so I can have some “me time”, which usually ends up being catching up on work or researching something for the family.

Back to work though. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m faking it. Almost everyone there knows I work PT and have 3 kids. I’m not sure if it’s my work ethic or a working mom thing, but even though I technically work less hours I really don’t because I’m usually working “off the clock” which is something I have to/am trying to stop because it comes at the expense of my family which is the whole reason I reduced my hours in the first place.

“We’ve made great strides to where women can achieve great things in the workplace,” she says, “but we make it so impossible to be working and raising kids. As a society, we place no value in the act of caregiving.”

This was probably the truest and my favorite sentence in the whole article. Society seems to have this idea that SAHMs don’t “work” and just hang out all day, when in reality they’re probably the ones who work the hardest in the sense that their “job” never ends. What can be done to change this mentality though?

Unfortunately, I think it’s hard in a country like the US because for the most part the focus here is on greed rather than family. Does your corporation REALLY care about how well moms are raising your kids? Are stores we shop at going to accept kids being polite to them as payment for groceries? No. All corporations care about is testing their limits with the cheapest wage they can pay so they can maximize profits. If you think I’m exaggerating, look at something like our pitiful maternity leave policies compared to other countries around the world. There are companies like mine who realize this and have gone over and beyond the minimum, but it’s sad that something like extended maternity leave isn’t a norm.

I’m not sure what exactly can be done, but I know I’m going to do my part to continue speaking up about just how hard it is to be not just a mom, but a mom who works outside the home. Being a mom is probably the most thankless job ever and we unfortunately don’t get anywhere near enough credit aside from mother’s day. I hope that by vocalizing our struggles, more and more of us can in turn speak up and get the world to realize that we’re badasses who deserve some more “help” from corporations.